It's rainy..

Talking about rain, I suddenly think of my late friend, "Janessa" She's one of my closest and good friend since i was in primary 1 until 6. we've been friends for only 6 years. and those 6 years brought a lot of memories. I still remember when we used to go on trip together, go around the school. laugh bout nothing, craziness all those thing that made us happy being together. She spent me ice cream and we ate at the same place together. We finish up our school work together. we cried together. we cared at each other.

There's a time that I was so happy and excited to go to school. Suddenly there's our junior ran over me and said "Your friend! Your friend! your friend..right.. your friend Janessa!"I replied nicely, "Yes, why her?" she took a deep breath and said "She died last night.. She died?" seriously, I didn't believe her. I said to her " Don't play around. what? why? died? no she's not"..

I left her. I walked slowly into my class with uneasy feeling.. I sudeenly stopped when I reached at the door. I saw my classmates. They're crying.. I still didn't believe, I EVEN LAUGHED. I walked into them and I asked what actually happened and.. they said "Our friend, Janessa. She's no longer with us.."
I smiled and, I.. I asked them "why.." her cousin replied that she died by hanging up herself. I was shocked. Its hard for me to believe. I felt so weak.. I.. only God knows how I feel at the very moment.I took my time to be alone.. I imagined that she's at my side. sat beside me. I saw her. Im talking to her.. I..laughed with her.. she smiled.. she said "its okay"

the next day, we went to her house. I brought her fresh beautiful flowers. As I step into her house, I cried. I put the flowers beside her.. with such a pretty white dress.. She's still beautiful as always.. By the time, I couldn't accept the fate that she's actually gone.. leave us for forever.. There's nothing I could do rather than cried and cried. I want to hug her. I want to be with her. I supposed to save her! I couldn't stand.. I cried a lot.. Those memories touch me until now.. I miss you Janessa.. I miss us.. I miss..you.. you always remind in my heart forever..I hope you are happy up there..